Pain is not all there is

Anger and agony are better motivators than misery, to get things done you need two main hormones…and they are dopamine and testosterone. These two hormones are all you need to become the best and most intelligent. Whatever blocks you from becoming stronger and better it is either guilt or some feeling of worthlessness. To override the sorrows you must be entitled and claim power for yourself and be destined for greatness. You must stand tall and encourage yourself to achieve things that you’ve always wanted,things that will make you happy and proud. A worthy goal for example would be to become a millionaire. But do you know HOW you are going to become one? You probably think it will take years of hard work and dedication, Well that may be true but not entirely true. You see….we are in a world of infinite possibilities, believe in something long enough and it will happen I guarantee it. Even if it’s bad things they will happen if you keep them in your mind long enough…now no need to get defensive or afraid of every thought you get. You just need to realize that our minds are powerful, they can either make us or destroy us in the end it is up to us to decide that. You can either be the king(or queen) of the world or be a pile of dirt in the ground that everyone walks on….In the end you decide, use your pain as a motivator, whether you’re angry,mad,sad,despairing use it all as a motivator, say to yourself  ‘fuck it, I’m tough and I deserve more! My life has value damn it!’ and from there you go out and tackle the world like the proud individual you are. Always have your own back this world can be cruel and merciless and the weak die off easily. YOU MUST BE STRONG. Strength can be increased simply by deciding that you will be the best man in the world, a dominant leader. And then from there you go out and enjoy being the best. Of course there may be little blocks as to why you can’t do it or don’t deserve it but fuck those thoughts, say to yourself, “Why can’t I be worthy? I am worthy of power and power is worthy of me!” This my friends is the path to true liberation,power, and bliss. It won’t be easy but in the end you will reap the rewards. Now, go out there and dominate with pride! Talk to you all soon. Oh yea one more thing, put a high value on your own life and walk the world with dignity and valor. And if you are dealing with things like,say depression then get angry! but the anger you must use is a form called righteous anger, a good form of anger you need it in the beginning stages of getting up to par with life. Anyway that’s all for now and you better follow this priceless information, you are worthy!

Enemy Complex…Support yourself…

We all have our flaws, differences and insecurities. The enemies outside of us simply reflect our internal enemy. All the anger it may cause and we just want to let it out on somebody and we sometimes do. But we should learn to use these so called negative emotions to our advantage. To give us more strength. We need to get mad yes, but only when we are serious about change. If we get mad while sitting in front of the computer all day then that anger will not be put to good use unless of course you use it creatively to write or something. The emotions are e-motions. Energy in motion which are stored in the body. Once we think we have calmed down we are really still angry, our body still stores the energy. And from there it can be become self destructive if not monitored. Our thoughts fight each other, an internal wars brews and it can just create more anger. It’s a bad cycle. If we don’t use our anger we become apathetic or worse… boredom is self directed aggression in a way.Plus many of us fear boredom. But fear is really nothing but an illusion to begin with. It only comes from perceived dangers, so what if we actually learn to enjoy danger, chaos and risks. We can learn to enjoy them but we must still use our heads. We mustn’t rely solely on impulse but we shouldn’t stagnate either. We need a steady plan to follow and to be willing to use our time and energy to achieve something that will make us satisfied and happy. We need to pursue things, we should never wait…there is no hero coming to save us. It is up to us to decide and never look back until we get what we want. I get it, it can be very comfortable and predictable to just stay in the same spot, so why don’t we set a time limit for how long we hang around in our so called sanctuaries of movies, laying in bed, jerking off, gaming and getting inspired without any intent for action and effort. As I said before a goal without action is only a day dream…What if we don’t want anything? What if we just don’t care how our lives are? Those questions are only birthed from a mind that is consumed with apathy and fear of boredom. To break this cycle we need to challenge our destructive beliefs, for example if we don’t want to go out alone because we think it may be painful or boring then we can challenge that belief by going out alone to any location and seeing how you feel. And if your predictions were correct then life is against you. You’re doomed unless you can get used to being uncomfortable for awhile before getting what you want. Life will try to challenge us, it always does it sometimes burns a lot…. but we need to bounce back and go at it harder then before. We need to sacrifice our comfort and so called peace to grow and feel satisfied in life. Action, desire, freedom and relentless pursuit are just some of the keys to greatness. I’m still in search of more keys as you can probably tell. Life can get to even the best of us. People say ego is a bad thing, that’s probably because they haven’t learned to use ego in their favor. At the end of the day,it is up to us to create the life that will make us happy, of course it won’t happen overnight but with consistency our goals can become a reality. We just need to be stubborn enough to hang on to our dreams, do not let them die, revive them and pursue them. Dreams cannot be fulfilled while jerking off to endless sessions of porn or playing endless hours of mmorpgs or whatever activity we do to feel comfortable. In Islam they say life is a test, the true purpose of life I think is to maximize who we are, our potential. Wouldn’t you say that’s a worthy purpose…I certainly do. Life does test you too though but not for an afterlife, but we all can choose to believe whatever we wish as long as we don;t impose it on others… The inner enemy dies when we go after our true desires, the doubt may still be there but it can only watch while you do what you please. Freedom is sweet isn’t it?  

Hatred can go both ways 

Hatred is interesting, we can hate ourselves or others, we can hate the world, we can hate parts of ourselves, we can hate criminals or we can hate the police but most of us don;t see hate as a good thing. Hate can be good. As long as it doesn’t destroy us or others. We can use hatred to motivate us to achieve goals. Be it fitness goals, business goals or personal goals. We can for example hate our current conditions or whatever to the point where we can’t take it anymore and it drives us for a better life. Or we can hate weakness and pursue more strength, There are many examples I could use but we get the point.

Love can also motivate 

Love is a more pleasant motivator but we can choose whatever the hell we want to get us off our negativity and towards abundance and pride.We can see the great pleasure our desired goal can bring us and really feel it and visualize it before we even embark on the journey to achieve it. We can love ourselves to the point that we are no longer addicted to material things because apparently some say addiction forms because we try to fill an internal void or to escape our inner demons. It’s funny how some say love is a weakness and that it makes you stupid. That is rubbish for the most part unless someone you love and care for ends up hurting you. Love can make life a paradise. But to get there you need to hate to propel you to true freedom and peace or whatever.

 

We all have all these internal complexes within us that greatly cut away enjoyment for life. We say we deserve somethings and not deserve others, allow good things to happen and allow yourself to be powerful and to acquire more power and love. 

 

Social world

The power we have always gets challenged by either our negative emotions and thoughts or some outside force and resistance. The resistance always has to do with us. Some people may feel nice and relaxed in social interactions and others may feel aggressive and uncomfortable. There are two main paths to take in this world: 

1. Dark path
2. Light path

The dark path is fear,anger,envy,blind rage, hatred, self hatred,violence, anti social behavior, suicide, isolation, despair and so on.The light path is a more favorable path to go on if you want to lead a fulfilling and beautiful life but it’s a harder path to start on for many. The light path is love, passion, joy, inspiration, self love, compassion, forgiveness, enjoyment, satisfaction, bliss, hope, faith and so on and so forth. The path most of us try to go on but fail most of the time in our personal quests, hardships and tribulations. We are tempted to go on the dark path and hell we may already be on there once we begin to stagnate and feel fear. And from there hatred comes, mostly of the self followed by self sabotage then one day you can’t take it anymore and go on a blind rage destroying anything in your way. And usually the blind rage erupts when you start getting envious of another’s achievements or what have you and so from there you may experience some more self hate which can lead to despair or isolation or maybe both at once. The dark path is truly miserable but we all experience it. Some people let their negative emotions especially anger to consume them and make them kill another human being. It is insane how far gone some go when all the misery and despair wipes their conscience and inhibitions clean. I guess once they lost everything they were free to do anything, but really they were still in prison. The prison of their dark hate filled minds. 

Then there is the beautiful light side. Curiosity could be the bridge to the light side. Curiosity will eliminate boredom and make you take in the sights and beauty of life. And who knows you may meet a beautiful girl (or whatever you’re into) while curiously venturing out into the world. You drop all feelings of boredom,hate, insecurity, fear and bullshit thoughts as best you can as you engage with the world in a positive light. Clearly it will feel uncomfortable and fake at first considering you just want to lay in your room or rage like usual but keep calm, smile and walk right. Sometimes you just need to make a tough decision then roll with it and see what your new choice turns you into, the kind of man it turns you into. Also don’t dwell on negative things others said about you if you want in on the light side of life. It is tough I know but you mustn’t quit and return to your old ways, and you especially don’t want to lay in solitude and torture yourself while trying to find pleasure with your old time wasters. NO. Brothers and sister we need to change for good. We need to not over analyze things to the point where we just call it quits. No we need to get up, stretch, do some push ups and sit ups and head on out the door to a new mental world and never look back. Also examine any excuses you may have and just refocus your mind onto the positives of life. Always stick to the positives of life. Release fear, release hatred, release or properly use anger. Don’t worry you will get used to the initial anxieties anger creates. But don’t be a menace with it. Also self confidence is very important. Always analyze and optimize your body to peak performance. We are warriors after all. We fight for freedom and justice but some humans have messed up perceptions and do the opposite with their energy. 

The human body is a beautiful tool, a beautiful machine to use as we see fit. The mind is what we need to convince of our bodies boundless energy and raw power. But the power isn’t easily accessible to us. We need to let go of everything. It’s so hard to convince ourselves that things can get better if we just move our bodies. Nothing will happen unless you get up and move. It is one of the best ways to beat depressions, anxieties and it optimizes the use of anger instead of it hurting you it works with you. Time is money We cannot abuse time. It’s a great resource that is for the most part infinite unless we have obligations and duties to attend to. I feel pretty optimistic tonight but I know that if I don’t use this energy positively, productively or intelligently then it will all be for naught. When I’m out in public bored as hell I like to observe people. I guess my mind finds it very entertaining to do it or possibly it needs some companionship of some kind. I’m sure it does. I notice fear is just something that energizes you and inspires you. Anyway everything in this world has its uses and importance. We just need to slow it down a bit and approach life with a more relaxed well rounded look. 

Solitude is a good place to gain more strength

Fuck the one percent, screw the jack of all trades, just be you, do you. Move with a manly swagger if you’re a male and soon you will be your true self. Walk until you find yourself. Women can benefit from this too but women are more in touch with themselves than us guys. Anyways, in solitude you may lose yourself in delusions that’s why its good to do earthly tasks to stay grounded.

Fuck what others think, fuck what others say, speak your mind and act in a way that will make you feel good about yourself. Loneliness and emptiness don’t last, once you find that person or hobby to awaken you from your darkness you will never be quite the same again. Because then your life gets some sort of meaning. Life is what we make it. I think there is some measure of truth to that. If we go into a situation without joy and power then how can we expect to feel good in the long run? Lets say you’re at the crossroads and you need to let go of some old habits in order to live a better life. Remember, not choosing to change is a choice as well. Every second of everyday we have choices to make and we can always make them. So why not act on better choices sooner rather that later when you feel forced? Why not take your sweet time and enjoy each moment of this life? The internet loses it’s appeal eventually plus your body will be affected and then your mind. Humans need activity, both mental stimulation,(ex socializing) and physical stimulation,(ex:working out,sex,walking) Walking allows you to find yourself when you are lost within. It also allows you to perfect better thinking patterns and decisions. 

Solitude can be miserable, realize fear is an illusion, fuck everything that is holding you back and fuck your perceived illusions. Fuck the avoidance of boredom and fuck the avoidance of loneliness and pain. They are stepping stones. Pain is a man’s teacher, learn from your experiences, good or bad. Always keep calm, walk with dignity and honor and enjoy every moment. oh and be cool, get angry only when necessary and ONLY when you are serious about change….and don’t let the anger turn inward and don’t become self destructive. Feel pride and enjoyment even in the little things.

 

Fragments of a New Beginning

Beginning of a new chapter, but if you don’t respond appropriately and leave behind what needs to be left behind then nothing will change dramatically. But you do receive signs, an example would be your new found confidence. And then seeing people who are cool looking or people you’ve always in your life. Example, I was waiting on my driving lessons teacher to arrive as I was enjoying the sight of grandiosity. The sun was shining hard and it was giving me power as always, then I notice a man who looked a lot like me but was obviously more put together entering the building. He was looking at me with interest but unfortunately I wasn’t in a social mood. Another example would later that day after doing well on my driving lessons course(I’m a great driver) I went to the mall to get some earphones and while hanging around there I see a very beautiful girl walking towards me, at that time I was very calm and relaxed but she made me feel some very weird feeling when I saw her. I can’t describe it but it wasn’t overly pleasant. But it did brighten my mood a bit seeing her. Again,that was another opportunity for proper change. I’m already doing quite a lot with my life,(soon I’ll be putting all my focus on socializing, might get rid of the boredom I carry around) but I could be trying harder and not making excuses. Paranoia and angers are a setback but something I’ll have to endure to get what I deserve(which is happiness,contentment,health,money,status etc). This desert I’m in is quite nice, I enjoy the world but can’t really feel much for other people. It’s strange, I’m always so relaxed and anti social, I do get lonely yes and I experience anxiety in short bursts. And yes I do get very insecure at times and defensive. I do self sabotage as well but that’s part of being human. Shame is what does that, It sets rightful limitations but of course, limitations can be broken down. Although life can be fantastic at times, I can no longer enjoy solitude anymore, I feel best and most grounded when I’m outside and seeing others. Seeing beautiful women walking by always brightens up my day. Another good part of the day was that I found a good meditation to do if i get angry or adrenal fueled. I focus only on the present moment, I release all nonsense from my mind and I put all(or most) of my focus into what I’m doing.

Self serving isn’t a bad thing. 

People are fools, not all of course but a lot of them test our patience…Some people may get extreme satisfaction from helping others, but you can’t neglect your own needs. Hell, put them first. Work on building your own personal power and self respect. IGNORE any nonsense thoughts that tell us that we don’t deserve good things or we don’t deserve power or we don’t deserve pleasure or respect or whatever. Now, don’t get angry with these thoughts, simply move in the direction of the good thoughts. I notice solitude makes these thoughts more repetitive. So, I suggest we avoid solitude, but also avoid any people that bring out the worst in us….Violence is not a good way to get satisfaction and self respect. Another thing, don’t fight emotions. Especially don’t fight anger or shame. Anger will just make you explode overtime….as will shame except internally. The best thing to do is just relax, to the point of being half asleep then carry on with what you were doing.

Paranoia

If you suffer with paranoia I feel for you. I’ve been dealing with this for years now so it’s taken a toll on me. Hence why I lose control of myself and do crazy things just to feel good about myself. Think of things like this: treat negative things you hear as motivation and use it to plunge yourself to what you really deserve.(greatness,money,power,status,wealth,health). Any resistance that stops us from getting those things and other good things then we simply ignore it and go for the good stuff. It will make life great and it will keep you from killing anybody including yourself.

Self destruction and merciless destruction 

In solitude we meet our inner enemy and inner friend. Solitude can be pleasurable but also destructive because it makes you lose social abilities which is bad business. Doubt will always be in our mind, we mustn’t take all our thoughts so seriously but to be imperfect is to be human after all. What kind of man lets himself destroy himself? It can be a frustrating thing indeed. This is how violence breaks out, to feel satisfaction but there are better ways to heal the internal tragedies. Examples would be:

1. workout
2. practice thinking powerful thoughts, IGNORE negative thoughts….and DEGRADING thoughts too, just ignore them….
3. Ignore outside tragedies….meaning ignore people who will bring out negativity in you….they are only scum clean them out of your precious mind……please….haven’t we suffered enough?
4. Laugh, but sometimes this alone isn’t enough…Find some people to laugh with, yea even strangers. Work up the guts to do it, us humans can do so much, we just need self belief, self encouragement and self protection(from negativity and destruction)
5. discipline yourself,please….sleep on time, do what you said you were going to do, present moment is all we got, I know it’s tough but it will make you into a self respecting guy or girl or whatever.
6. Compassion, but don’t be too compassionate if you don’t have self compassion….don’t give what you don’t have….enough said.
7. See people as friends, or tools to use to help you find fulfillment. In the end it’s all up to you to decide my friend. Obviously to people who hate or fear you, just use them because they don’t like you anyway. But don’t confuse fear with hatred, look into the persons eyes to see what you find. Don’t attack others…that;s not cool.
8. Reward yourself for good work
9. Practice assertiveness, not aggressiveness or passivity. Both will make you miserable overtime. I should know. Been in both sides of that world.

So those are some things we can use to help ourselves….If there is nothing in it for you, then don’t do it. Simple. Also cut way back on alone time and internet use. It isn’t good for self respect.

 

 

 

Self-Hatred and Self-Suppression

When you sit inside the flames of wrath for too long it ends up turning against you, your hatred begins to burn you up inside. It is a painful thing that can happen. Your inner enemy relishes on hatred and anger,it feasts in it and if not used against outside forces it burns away at your soul……You start tearing yourself apart and it is excruciatingly painful. The brain always wants to do what is familiar.

But what if what it is doing is pointless and only leads to self destruction? What if the very method of escape only adds to the pain? When you disown your own greatness it is truly an unbearable thing. Why do we commit all these sins against ourselves? I guess this is own our hell. Why do we cling to what’s familiar? I think we do it because it is predictable and won’t cause any distress. We need to accept every part of ourselves 100%. Even our anger and shame or whatever. We need to be accountable for our internal condition,it’s hard I know but it MUST be done. Self reliance is very important,there is no hero. You can wait and wait and wait like a lapdog but no one is coming,why be content with defeat? I get it it’s comfortable as hell but we need to snap out of it. We need to punch ourselves hard enough to wake us UP. What makes life worth living anyway? Why carry on? Why am I so ashamed? Why is life a bore? Why am I alone? The human experience can be a very dark one indeed. It can and has been filled with immense suffering and misery. 

And if you really look at the big picture,life really is meaningless. But it can at least be a worthwhile meaningless experience rather than a miserable meaningless experience. It all begins with standing your ground,as hard as it may be. You need to express your rage as hard as it may be and you need to accept yourself. If you are tired then take a nap and get things done in full force once you awaken. 

Life can be a hell, we want to be alone but we can’t tolerate it for too long, and then we want to be around others and we can’t tolerate it for too long. What a drag. Either way we can’t win. Self acceptance,accountability and reason. And striving to be the best version of ourselves,no matter what…..screw the weak voice in your head, only choose to follow the strong and great path.

Motivates and uplifts me maybe the same will go for you?

Oceans of regret and electricity

                               Regret,what a useless emotion.You can’t change the past.So you regret not being able to start things sooner instead of wasting your time with thoughts that hold you back from your full potential,self defeating thoughts like ‘I can’t do that’ or ‘I’m not good,strong,ready,able,motivated enough’.Then you become paralyzed…gods thunder hit you because he is pissed off…pissed off because you are foolish enough to believe your thoughts.By taking action even if you don’t feel like it you start slowly building momentum,I’m one of those people who thinks  that first you need to get motivated,inspired. Yea you could get motivated and you could find inspiration but nothing is going to happen unless you take action,big action.Don’t keep doing the little steps,sometimes you just have to take steps that are a little bigger.I’m not saying to take a leap of faith but sometimes a leap of faith is what we need.

When you take a leap of faith who knows where you’re going to end up,you could jump from the Eiffel tower and end up on the moon for all we know but we aren’t going to know if we just stay at the edge all frozen and shit. I just lost interest to keep writing but perseverance and consistency is the difference between giving up and losing sight of the horizon or becoming the hero who sees no end of achievement and finds pleasure in pain and sees pain in instant gratification because the hero is looking beyond the daily bumps and sees the final result to all his hard work. No this isn’t a workaholic this is the motherfucker who can’t be cured by going to rehab,but why cure discipline and determination. I always seem to get motivated at the wrong hours,at night and getting ready to sleep I get all these thoughts that seem to get me fired up.Mostly negative motivation and I start to get very angry some nights and takes me hours to fall asleep.Then the next day I’m back to feeling tired as hell. Plan for tonight is to read and meditate and I will stick to it,there may be some variations like seeing a movie and inevitably getting my nightly dose of porno.  

NO LIMITS.ESCAPE THE LIMITS OF YOUR MIND AND BECOME SOMETHING GREATER…..

When push comes to shove,the sky is the limit

Lethargy,sucks but whatever,what can you do but sit around and jerk off to the clock as it keeps going tick tock tick tock…..

 

It is beautiful,suffering can either toughen you up or break you to pieces,but either way you grow once you come out of it.   

• you are the sky
• I am the god
• we are the universe        

Get it?

Lets pretend,say you get beat up by some magical force,what do you do? Do you try and persuade the guy into not having beat you up,no….thats not a good move.First lets see what made the person want to beat you up in the first place…

1. you stole his dinosaur cookie(and no this isn’t kindergarten,its college)
2. He got mad and you made it worse by eating his cookie in front of his burning eyes
3. inevitable happens,you get your ass handed to you.unless you are one sick fucker and enjoy getting a beating you aren’t going to come out of it smiling and laughing like you just lost your virginity.Which won’t happen because the girl you’ve been eyeing thinks you’re a wimp getting beat up like that and she sees you as a delinquent.

I don’t know about you but I’d be furiously learning mma moves from online and simultaneously jerking off to softcore lesbian porn(nvm something more gruesome)to get rd of the pain of rejection.