Self-Hatred and Self-Suppression

When you sit inside the flames of wrath for too long it ends up turning against you, your hatred begins to burn you up inside. It is a painful thing that can happen. Your inner enemy relishes on hatred and anger,it feasts in it and if not used against outside forces it burns away at your soul……You start tearing yourself apart and it is excruciatingly painful. The brain always wants to do what is familiar.

But what if what it is doing is pointless and only leads to self destruction? What if the very method of escape only adds to the pain? When you disown your own greatness it is truly an unbearable thing. Why do we commit all these sins against ourselves? I guess this is own our hell. Why do we cling to what’s familiar? I think we do it because it is predictable and won’t cause any distress. We need to accept every part of ourselves 100%. Even our anger and shame or whatever. We need to be accountable for our internal condition,it’s hard I know but it MUST be done. Self reliance is very important,there is no hero. You can wait and wait and wait like a lapdog but no one is coming,why be content with defeat? I get it it’s comfortable as hell but we need to snap out of it. We need to punch ourselves hard enough to wake us UP. What makes life worth living anyway? Why carry on? Why am I so ashamed? Why is life a bore? Why am I alone? The human experience can be a very dark one indeed. It can and has been filled with immense suffering and misery. 

And if you really look at the big picture,life really is meaningless. But it can at least be a worthwhile meaningless experience rather than a miserable meaningless experience. It all begins with standing your ground,as hard as it may be. You need to express your rage as hard as it may be and you need to accept yourself. If you are tired then take a nap and get things done in full force once you awaken. 

Life can be a hell, we want to be alone but we can’t tolerate it for too long, and then we want to be around others and we can’t tolerate it for too long. What a drag. Either way we can’t win. Self acceptance,accountability and reason. And striving to be the best version of ourselves,no matter what…..screw the weak voice in your head, only choose to follow the strong and great path.