Beginning of a new chapter, but if you don’t respond appropriately and leave behind what needs to be left behind then nothing will change dramatically. But you do receive signs, an example would be your new found confidence. And then seeing people who are cool looking or people you’ve always in your life. Example, I was waiting on my driving lessons teacher to arrive as I was enjoying the sight of grandiosity. The sun was shining hard and it was giving me power as always, then I notice a man who looked a lot like me but was obviously more put together entering the building. He was looking at me with interest but unfortunately I wasn’t in a social mood. Another example would later that day after doing well on my driving lessons course(I’m a great driver) I went to the mall to get some earphones and while hanging around there I see a very beautiful girl walking towards me, at that time I was very calm and relaxed but she made me feel some very weird feeling when I saw her. I can’t describe it but it wasn’t overly pleasant. But it did brighten my mood a bit seeing her. Again,that was another opportunity for proper change. I’m already doing quite a lot with my life,(soon I’ll be putting all my focus on socializing, might get rid of the boredom I carry around) but I could be trying harder and not making excuses. Paranoia and angers are a setback but something I’ll have to endure to get what I deserve(which is happiness,contentment,health,money,status etc). This desert I’m in is quite nice, I enjoy the world but can’t really feel much for other people. It’s strange, I’m always so relaxed and anti social, I do get lonely yes and I experience anxiety in short bursts. And yes I do get very insecure at times and defensive. I do self sabotage as well but that’s part of being human. Shame is what does that, It sets rightful limitations but of course, limitations can be broken down. Although life can be fantastic at times, I can no longer enjoy solitude anymore, I feel best and most grounded when I’m outside and seeing others. Seeing beautiful women walking by always brightens up my day. Another good part of the day was that I found a good meditation to do if i get angry or adrenal fueled. I focus only on the present moment, I release all nonsense from my mind and I put all(or most) of my focus into what I’m doing.
Self serving isn’t a bad thing.
People are fools, not all of course but a lot of them test our patience…Some people may get extreme satisfaction from helping others, but you can’t neglect your own needs. Hell, put them first. Work on building your own personal power and self respect. IGNORE any nonsense thoughts that tell us that we don’t deserve good things or we don’t deserve power or we don’t deserve pleasure or respect or whatever. Now, don’t get angry with these thoughts, simply move in the direction of the good thoughts. I notice solitude makes these thoughts more repetitive. So, I suggest we avoid solitude, but also avoid any people that bring out the worst in us….Violence is not a good way to get satisfaction and self respect. Another thing, don’t fight emotions. Especially don’t fight anger or shame. Anger will just make you explode overtime….as will shame except internally. The best thing to do is just relax, to the point of being half asleep then carry on with what you were doing.
Paranoia
If you suffer with paranoia I feel for you. I’ve been dealing with this for years now so it’s taken a toll on me. Hence why I lose control of myself and do crazy things just to feel good about myself. Think of things like this: treat negative things you hear as motivation and use it to plunge yourself to what you really deserve.(greatness,money,power,status,wealth,health). Any resistance that stops us from getting those things and other good things then we simply ignore it and go for the good stuff. It will make life great and it will keep you from killing anybody including yourself.
Self destruction and merciless destruction
In solitude we meet our inner enemy and inner friend. Solitude can be pleasurable but also destructive because it makes you lose social abilities which is bad business. Doubt will always be in our mind, we mustn’t take all our thoughts so seriously but to be imperfect is to be human after all. What kind of man lets himself destroy himself? It can be a frustrating thing indeed. This is how violence breaks out, to feel satisfaction but there are better ways to heal the internal tragedies. Examples would be:
- workout
- practice thinking powerful thoughts, IGNORE negative thoughts….and DEGRADING thoughts too, just ignore them….
- Ignore outside tragedies….meaning ignore people who will bring out negativity in you….they are only scum clean them out of your precious mind……please….haven’t we suffered enough?
- Laugh, but sometimes this alone isn’t enough…Find some people to laugh with, yea even strangers. Work up the guts to do it, us humans can do so much, we just need self belief, self encouragement and self protection(from negativity and destruction)
- discipline yourself,please….sleep on time, do what you said you were going to do, present moment is all we got, I know it’s tough but it will make you into a self respecting guy or girl or whatever.
- Compassion, but don’t be too compassionate if you don’t have self compassion….don’t give what you don’t have….enough said.
- See people as friends, or tools to use to help you find fulfillment. In the end it’s all up to you to decide my friend. Obviously to people who hate or fear you, just use them because they don’t like you anyway. But don’t confuse fear with hatred, look into the persons eyes to see what you find. Don’t attack others…that;s not cool.
- Reward yourself for good work
- Practice assertiveness, not aggressiveness or passivity. Both will make you miserable overtime. I should know. Been in both sides of that world.
So those are some things we can use to help ourselves….If there is nothing in it for you, then don’t do it. Simple. Also cut way back on alone time and internet use. It isn’t good for self respect.
Incompetent 