Enemy Complex…Support yourself…

We all have our flaws, differences and insecurities. The enemies outside of us simply reflect our internal enemy. All the anger it may cause and we just want to let it out on somebody and we sometimes do. But we should learn to use these so called negative emotions to our advantage. To give us more strength. We need to get mad yes, but only when we are serious about change. If we get mad while sitting in front of the computer all day then that anger will not be put to good use unless of course you use it creatively to write or something. The emotions are e-motions. Energy in motion which are stored in the body. Once we think we have calmed down we are really still angry, our body still stores the energy. And from there it can be become self destructive if not monitored. Our thoughts fight each other, an internal wars brews and it can just create more anger. It’s a bad cycle. If we don’t use our anger we become apathetic or worse… boredom is self directed aggression in a way.Plus many of us fear boredom. But fear is really nothing but an illusion to begin with. It only comes from perceived dangers, so what if we actually learn to enjoy danger, chaos and risks. We can learn to enjoy them but we must still use our heads. We mustn’t rely solely on impulse but we shouldn’t stagnate either. We need a steady plan to follow and to be willing to use our time and energy to achieve something that will make us satisfied and happy. We need to pursue things, we should never wait…there is no hero coming to save us. It is up to us to decide and never look back until we get what we want. I get it, it can be very comfortable and predictable to just stay in the same spot, so why don’t we set a time limit for how long we hang around in our so called sanctuaries of movies, laying in bed, jerking off, gaming and getting inspired without any intent for action and effort. As I said before a goal without action is only a day dream…What if we don’t want anything? What if we just don’t care how our lives are? Those questions are only birthed from a mind that is consumed with apathy and fear of boredom. To break this cycle we need to challenge our destructive beliefs, for example if we don’t want to go out alone because we think it may be painful or boring then we can challenge that belief by going out alone to any location and seeing how you feel. And if your predictions were correct then life is against you. You’re doomed unless you can get used to being uncomfortable for awhile before getting what you want. Life will try to challenge us, it always does it sometimes burns a lot…. but we need to bounce back and go at it harder then before. We need to sacrifice our comfort and so called peace to grow and feel satisfied in life. Action, desire, freedom and relentless pursuit are just some of the keys to greatness. I’m still in search of more keys as you can probably tell. Life can get to even the best of us. People say ego is a bad thing, that’s probably because they haven’t learned to use ego in their favor. At the end of the day,it is up to us to create the life that will make us happy, of course it won’t happen overnight but with consistency our goals can become a reality. We just need to be stubborn enough to hang on to our dreams, do not let them die, revive them and pursue them. Dreams cannot be fulfilled while jerking off to endless sessions of porn or playing endless hours of mmorpgs or whatever activity we do to feel comfortable. In Islam they say life is a test, the true purpose of life I think is to maximize who we are, our potential. Wouldn’t you say that’s a worthy purpose…I certainly do. Life does test you too though but not for an afterlife, but we all can choose to believe whatever we wish as long as we don;t impose it on others… The inner enemy dies when we go after our true desires, the doubt may still be there but it can only watch while you do what you please. Freedom is sweet isn’t it?  

Hatred can go both ways 

Hatred is interesting, we can hate ourselves or others, we can hate the world, we can hate parts of ourselves, we can hate criminals or we can hate the police but most of us don;t see hate as a good thing. Hate can be good. As long as it doesn’t destroy us or others. We can use hatred to motivate us to achieve goals. Be it fitness goals, business goals or personal goals. We can for example hate our current conditions or whatever to the point where we can’t take it anymore and it drives us for a better life. Or we can hate weakness and pursue more strength, There are many examples I could use but we get the point.

Love can also motivate 

Love is a more pleasant motivator but we can choose whatever the hell we want to get us off our negativity and towards abundance and pride.We can see the great pleasure our desired goal can bring us and really feel it and visualize it before we even embark on the journey to achieve it. We can love ourselves to the point that we are no longer addicted to material things because apparently some say addiction forms because we try to fill an internal void or to escape our inner demons. It’s funny how some say love is a weakness and that it makes you stupid. That is rubbish for the most part unless someone you love and care for ends up hurting you. Love can make life a paradise. But to get there you need to hate to propel you to true freedom and peace or whatever.

 

We all have all these internal complexes within us that greatly cut away enjoyment for life. We say we deserve somethings and not deserve others, allow good things to happen and allow yourself to be powerful and to acquire more power and love. 

 

Invulnerable

Some days we feel invincible, powerful, godlike and some days we feel vulnerable, shameful, and weak. Why is that? Why is it that some days we are surging with confidence and other days we can barely walk with pride? I say it has to do with how we train our minds. If we have always taken the easy way out of things,(ex. if you hate someone and you avoid confrontation) then that will set up how we feel when we go out there to get some tasks done. We will feel shameful and weak all because we wouldn’t confront a single individual. It could be laziness that makes us not do things that will make us like ourselves and fill us with pride(the good kind of pride) or it could be apathy holding us back, perhaps boredom or maybe even fear,insecurities etc. Well I noticed that the brain operates on momentum. We need to build momentum in order to be confident and self assured in the long run. And yes we will need to do this numerous times, face our fear, our perceived boredom and apathy, whatever it is and just tackle it down as soon as possible so we don’t get stuck in a downward spiral of mediocrity. 

The only ‘demon’ that is in our way is ourselves, no one else is doing anything to us. Sure they may influence our thinking but we always have control of what we think, do and say. We can be outspoken, or soft spoken. We can be aggressive or passive. We can be open or closed off. We can be strong or weak. We can be happy or miserable. We can be dominant or submissive. We can take joy in who we are or despise ourselves. We can be intelligent or unintelligent. We can learn from mistakes or keep doing them over and over. We can stand with those who are like us or we can stand alone. We can gain strength, knowledge and skills from tough situations or we can avoid them. In the end the choice is ours, no one else’s words can do anything to us, no one else’s actions can do anything to us. 

Fear and comfort

Fear and comfort will always be holding us back, among other things. We grasp to familiarity and fight change like it’s a bad thing. People want to get as cozy, comfortable and secure as possible and they will never get anywhere because of that. We need radical change and action. The present moment can be a good place to start moving in a more powerful and dominant path. It’s not easy and we won’t want to do it at the moment and it may be painful at the moment but overtime we will be glad we made the choice to act in spite of fear, laziness, comfort, insecurity, sleepiness etc. We will like ourselves more and respect ourselves more once we decide that we want a more powerful life. Some may not care that their life is bad, I am like that sometimes, some days I just don’t give a damn about how my life is, I just want to jerk off, game and surf the net and let my negative thoughts keep me from doing what I know is going to make me most satisfied and accomplished which will breed euphoria. 

Thought is the enemy

Some say thought is the enemy and that may be true, many of us spend too much time thinking about what we want and we never get up and move towards it. A goal without action is only a day dream. But of course the good things in life take some time and some effort. No way around that unfortunately. 

Why do we set up all these barriers to keep us from becoming our best? We let people’s words define us. What rubbish, it pisses me off. Words are just words, they only become powerful once you attach meaning to them. Why is it that we humans always want to do things the easy way and just be lazy. If you’re youthful get up and move, if there any enemies or discomfort in your way simply cancel the distractions out of your mind and focus on what will make you happiest and most successful. It’s either the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Again it’s your choice. Regret can be painful. So let’s use discipline for now shall we. Let’s learn to enjoy each moment and stay more relaxed or get pumped and mad! Tackle the world down before the world tackles you down. People prey on you vulnerability. DO NOT LET THEM. PROTECT YOURSELF WITH POWERFUL CONFIDENCE AND PRIDE. Apply knowledge before we end up forgetting it and/or write it down somewhere for reviewing.

LOVE and HATE,run round n round

As I sit in my sanctuary laughing with wrath I look out my window and stare at the clouds.How beautiful it all is and I don’t have anyone to share it with. It saddens me to say how alone I feel,but I still see hope at the end of the tunnel. I have the spirit of a warrior and I will not back down no matter what. I don’t need people’s useless approval or their cruel dis praise. In the end all that is meaningless. In the end its all about who had the last laugh. As I get up and take my initial steps to greatness I look back with a subtle pain. Even though I know it’s foolish I just want to stay here forever. Instead of aimlessly wandering outside tediously. But where is the fun in sitting in one place for too long. If you’re youthful and have two legs on you get up and move. Act as a warrior should;hearty,enthusiastic,optimistic. Life is full of greatness we just need to adapt better thinking patterns. Add some spice to our life and that spice is variety. The only fun I seem to get these days is when i let my anger take over and i fight. Fighting feels amazing…But all good things come to an end eventually,when your adversaries cry and beg you to stop. At that point you realize,’damn that felt so good’. There are few great pleasures in this world like violence. But it is not a desirable path to go on unless angers and anxieties and depressions are ruining your life. Even then there are better ways,for example love. 

There are two paths(there are more but these two are basic ones):love and hate. Hatred is usually condemned in society but it has it’s uses. It helps you to not be a doormat but it can make you feel lonely too. Love can make life extremely pleasurable and fun and yes it can also help you to not be a doormat. Which feels better in the end,love or hate?

Definitely love. Hatred can only feel good if you are taking down people who have done some perceived wrong to you. Even then after the pleasurable high of beating the crap out of them,some brief guilt may come. But it passes of course.

Hate is part of fear,some people run from what they fear,others face it head on and destroy what they fear. Anger is a good emotion to protect you from what you fear. It acts as a barrier to protect your soul from hurt. Only way to heal fear and anger is love of some kind. Or maybe convert the anger to a more positive passion somehow. Anger can be your friend or your enemy,it’s how you use it that matters. A more enjoyable approach to life though would be to just keep a vibration of love on you.Anger is a necessary emotion to change your life … use it wisely. Anger and freedom are your birthrights,nobody can take it away from you. 

 

Apathy is a poison and also a medicine if used correctly

When nothing matters and nothing seems like its going to be fun or worth it and you just want to stay in your room/house/basement all day and just kill time and try to find pleasure you once had in being alone. Well,nothing good lasts forever. This is a fact,what was enjoyable one day will feel like shit the next day.There are no absolutes yet we decide not to do anything anyway. There may be a sense of familiarity and even pleasure in laying in bed and hoping to fall asleep. This is sloth. It’s common in today’s society. It could be dubbed as a sign of weakness or it could simply be part of an underlying issue that hasn’t been resolved. 

I notice the biggest obstacle we have to becoming the best we can be is ourselves. We come up with all kinds of retarded excuses to keep us from trying anything somewhat meaningful and uplifting. I guess we are all a bit masochistic in some way. Indecision can be part of masochism, or simply you just don’t know what the hell to even be doing in the first place…So we just sit and spiral…Hating…Hating others,hating ourselves and hating the world. Apathy,hopelessness and self sabotage may be the side effects of solitude. Solitude amplifies anger,which can become an ally or a great adversary. If only we had all the answers,we could read all the books we want,we could get ourselves horny as hell from porn but in the end its up to us to take some sort of action to get us to where we need to be,truly need to be for our own well being. I guess we need to learn to ignore the bullshit we hear and only focus on finding out who we are. I think that’s a worthy goal. It could inspire productive action if put to the test. I guess sometimes we may crave our alone time and that’s natural. Some people prefer solitude but nobody can withstand it forever. Solitude is the birthplace of insanity and irrational thinking but it can also be the birthplace of becoming the greatest human being possible. It could go both ways,like everything else in life. I guess we must ask ourselves ‘Why am I spending so much time in one place?’ and ‘What is keeping me here?’ It could be lethargy,it could be boredom, it could also be loneliness….Life can be a burden sometimes,you just want it to end. Existential philosophers say ‘hell is with other people’ but also some people say ‘solitude is truly hell’. I guess it goes both ways then. We can’t be by ourselves and we can’t be with other people. What a pain in the ass huh? In solitude it can sometimes be very blissful but overtime it becomes unbearable. I guess the same can go for being around other people. I think once we find the places and people that make us feel most at ease and at home that’s when we will probably begin to fall in love with life. Damn it all. It’s very easy to cling to what’s familiar. I guess taking a risk every now and then could be necessary,especially if you are young and need to experience some sort of thrill and joy. It can drive you but there will ALWAYS be those thoughts that keep you bound and it can be extremely infuriating. Maybe we can also learn to use that anger to propel us even further.  I guess all it takes is some intelligent creativity. I notice creativity can go both ways. There can be useful,productive GENIUS creativity and then there is also the idiotic,self destructive fear based creativity. Which can turn you insane and fill you with anger and rage….

I think a good practice would be hedonism. Look it up. To eliminate the demons in our heads we must first identify them and from there defy what they say. It will be tough but extremely satisfying to do pleasurable yet painful things to live the life you need to live. And what you need is a good life,something that makes you feel stronger and happier and satisfied than ever. It all starts with a thought,choose a good thought and follow it up with action. Anyone who tries to stand in your way destroy them. All that matters is for you to feel good,nothing else….If helping others makes you feel good then go for it. Eliminate unproductive pain from your life. ELIMINATE ALL FEAR IN YOUR LIFE,including anger. Or find a way to make it propel you forward in a positive direction. Life can be good,far beyond what our minds are capable of imagining,if we just took proper action and not meaningless action. Sometimes it takes a small risk to truly change your life. As meaningless as it all sounds, it can be fun and meaningless rather than miserable and meaningless.Life is inherently meaningless but it doesn’t have to be worthless. 

Destruction isn’t always a bad thing….

Sometimes you need to destroy a whole lot of things at once,or else you can’t advance in life.  Be it destroying useless parts of yourself or destroying others that get in your way,either way sometimes you need to hurt somebody harder than you’re hurting.Sadly though,this will keep you stuck in the same old pattern of hatred which can be hell overtime.

Not much can endure that hellish side of life for long. Not even superman,so why destroy yourself in the first place? I say its best to accept all of you fully,once you can do that you can destroy the outside forces that stand in your way or you can accept them too. In the end the choice is up to us to make. We always have a choice,every second of every day,we have all these choices. Of course the choices we’ve been sticking with for so long become habits. Which is very convenient for us because having to make a choice for every little thing will drive you crazy, that’s why it becomes automatic behavior until you begin living consciously of course. If cutting up and mutilating corpses has been your hobby for so long then it becomes automatic,you will run down the street,see some people,knock them out and toss them into your over sized grocery cart(white van). Anyway,habits can be good or bad,I know i have a few bad habits to break, its kind of pathetic of me that I’ve wasted this much time in life….all because i didn’t want to let go. Which is most likely a habit. Similar to the van rapist slaughterer. It all comes down to habits and INTENT.

This is where destruction comes in…you need to destroy whatever the hell is holding you back. Be ruthless,be merciless be decisive. Don;t second guess things, just go and do it. Trust me you will save yourself a lot of time and energy which would otherwise be directed to self loathing. 

Just let go of all fear,yes its a choice…Its just unconscious most of the time though not always. Don’t destroy yourself completely, just enough to push yourself into a better direction, but I guess like all things, it can backfire…especially without decisive action. 

SLEEP

We all have our ways of relieving the pain, be it through smoking weed,watching tv,mindlessly surfing the net, etc. But we all know eventually the pain will come again but even stronger than before. In those moments i think it is best not to think and trust your mind too much. It will give you all these insane thoughts that will keep you in the same place. Hell,you may even get in your way damn it. The prisons we create for ourselves,its torture.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we hang on to the old and cause unneeded suffering? Yea I can tell this post might sound a little depressing. My way of usually doing things is adding comedy to the pains of life but sometimes even that isn’t enough. In some cases we need to just say ‘ENOUGH OF THIS…” “I’ve had enough of this,spending all my time on the net,watching life pass me by…”. Why TORTURE ourselves with this idiocy? My intentions, my desires, my hopes and dreams where have they gone?

Am I even living anymore? Sometimes we need to be willing to change but WILLING isn’t enough. I am tired of trying,so from this moment on I’ll simply DO, and this time I’ll learn from my mistake. And that mistake is….STOPPING. Never stop. Set a goal at a time and relentlessly pursue it. But remember to enjoy the moment. Very important to enjoy the process,don’t take life all too seriosuly either. Look at it from a more comedic perspective. It helps me but doesn’t do much really.

I notice attachment creates shit loads of suffering. Attachment to possessions,certain locations etc…All of that causes pain. We need to really LET GO of it all. Think of it as letting go of a smelly skunk. Why torture yourself by holding on to that nasty thing? Jesus no wonder we’re in so much pain. Our so called ‘comforts’ are nothing more than poisonous,smelly sadistic….animals ok. We are holding on to death itself. WHY? Because of fear for one. Fear can be a friend though. It can be used as fuel. But some fears are just ridiculous. Fear of cheese? C’mon really? I get that dairy isn’t all that ‘healthy’ for our brains but really…dairy? I guess that’s how some people look at us with our fears. They see it the same way. Except some fears are universal. Depression is caused by fear. Allowing yourself to be held back by all the bullshit. Self created bullshit. People’s thoughts mean nothing,it’s your thoughts that attach meaning to things. And from those meanings emotions come. And from those emotions,beliefs come. And from those beliefs,behaviors come. And from those behaviors,fate comes. Or something like that. Till next time. By the way how do i change my domain name?

Clear the mental clutter

Clear it all, just take a pen and mentally vomit all over it,there was a time when the heroes of war stood towards the front lines of battle.Swords out and ready to destroy  anything that stood in their way,the gates open and the enemies wait outside. They charge towards it and destroy the demons standing in the way  Mental clutter keeps you from being your best,keeps you over encumbered and immobile in extreme cases.

Fear sometimes accompanies the cause of mental clutter,fatigue,etc…but the best way to fight it I think would be:

• Catching up on some sleep
• less internet time
• more time with the real world    

 

GET MORE SLEEP

 

Sleep is probably the most important thing you can do for yourself,I lose lots of sleep nowadays for pointless things.Mostly fear of the unknown but anything can be overcome. The mind sure loves to play tricks on us sometimes.

 

CUT THE CRAP

 

Cut the internet time. Some of us spend too much time on this seductive secretly sadistic contraption. Makes me sick how I rely on my laptop so much,I think its become my life. There is a point when things get way out hand(good thing I ain’t there yet) when you gotta just pull the plug and get some help. 

RECONNECT WITH REAL LIFE…

Probably one of the most important things,our brains just weren’t made for this type of closed doors,socially isolated computer desk junkies life style. In some cases its fear holding you back,maybe you’re ashamed of yourself for whatever reason,let this go rewire your brain and just conquer all this bullshit life throws at us.From the asses with white slave collars to the disembodied soulless demons we gotta just force ourselves to change this bad pattern and eliminate the same recurrences from happening again and again.Be good to others,if you aren’t a good person you really aren’t going to enjoy this life you can’t. Be the hero,always…..

Motivates and uplifts me maybe the same will go for you?

Oceans of regret and electricity

                               Regret,what a useless emotion.You can’t change the past.So you regret not being able to start things sooner instead of wasting your time with thoughts that hold you back from your full potential,self defeating thoughts like ‘I can’t do that’ or ‘I’m not good,strong,ready,able,motivated enough’.Then you become paralyzed…gods thunder hit you because he is pissed off…pissed off because you are foolish enough to believe your thoughts.By taking action even if you don’t feel like it you start slowly building momentum,I’m one of those people who thinks  that first you need to get motivated,inspired. Yea you could get motivated and you could find inspiration but nothing is going to happen unless you take action,big action.Don’t keep doing the little steps,sometimes you just have to take steps that are a little bigger.I’m not saying to take a leap of faith but sometimes a leap of faith is what we need.

When you take a leap of faith who knows where you’re going to end up,you could jump from the Eiffel tower and end up on the moon for all we know but we aren’t going to know if we just stay at the edge all frozen and shit. I just lost interest to keep writing but perseverance and consistency is the difference between giving up and losing sight of the horizon or becoming the hero who sees no end of achievement and finds pleasure in pain and sees pain in instant gratification because the hero is looking beyond the daily bumps and sees the final result to all his hard work. No this isn’t a workaholic this is the motherfucker who can’t be cured by going to rehab,but why cure discipline and determination. I always seem to get motivated at the wrong hours,at night and getting ready to sleep I get all these thoughts that seem to get me fired up.Mostly negative motivation and I start to get very angry some nights and takes me hours to fall asleep.Then the next day I’m back to feeling tired as hell. Plan for tonight is to read and meditate and I will stick to it,there may be some variations like seeing a movie and inevitably getting my nightly dose of porno.  

NO LIMITS.ESCAPE THE LIMITS OF YOUR MIND AND BECOME SOMETHING GREATER…..

Lazy year

Hey,I’m the main writer for this site/blog and all the random fun/boring contents it brings from the depths of hell. Tonight/Today we are going to look into lazy days and how they can get extended into months,years and for some poor souls a lifetime. One main component of laziness is,yea you guessed right brothers and sisters its…procrastination. Its common I’m sure. I procrastinate,you procrastinate,the whole fucking world procrastinates at some time in their life.Hell,even the earth procrastinates,it should have ended december last year,but it postponed it because its too much pain. We avoid things or put them off because we attach too much pain to them and too little pleasure.Take gaming for example,who the hell would put that off,for some extreme gamers they’d play completely naked in front of millions and not give a fuck. Activities like gaming are fun,so we associate it with pleasure. On the other hand activities like…say anything that requires us to step out of our comfort zone,we tend to put it off another time. If the activity is extremely painful(can’t think of any examples maybe you could think of your personal pains)then we will do whatever it takes to avoid or get done as quick as possible and never do it again. Nevermind I have one example,telling someone you hate that you love them.Most of us are too stubborn,too full of foolish pride to do anything painful and end up putting our sense of self worth on the line. Seeing a bunch of crazy teenagers around your age screaming like chimpanzees as they throw light bulbs at each other in total joy and bliss,what’s up with that? Let your imagination run wild whenever you want to just enjoy yourself,no matter the situation.Hell whenever I lose my train of thought I just go blank and type whatever.I don’t care. Its pleasurable in a way. We all need our own therapy,our own outlets so whenever the pain gets a little out of hand we know where to go to release it. Some ways to release pain include 

• Do metal screams and growls
• Write blogs like this
• Toss around the weights and workout like a beast….
• Aggression but don’t be an ass
• Meditation    

These are just some ways that I use sometimes.The world is naked and soon it will be sucked into a blackhole and then reborn into some other galaxy by coming out of another hole.As they say,what goes in eventually comes out. Lethargic?hit the weights or even just dance insanely to heavy metal,rap or whatever the fuck you’re into. Somebody piss you off? Look them dead in the eye and tell them ‘I love you,go fuck yourself you………’strange I know,all I do is ignore those are full of shit or get a little aggressive nothing over the top. Are you angry? Say fuck you to the world and take some boxing classes. Somebody is being a bitch? Give them guidance and help them make something of themselves. Can’t sleep at night because there are monsters in your closet/under your bed? Can’t help you there you’re fucked.Best thing you could do is just lay in bed and let them devour you.

 Can’t lie,I’m a lazy guy.I get excited mostly at night because that’s when I look for the new porn video of the night.After i ejaculate I relax for awhile,but on some rare occasions I get suicidal like the only enjoyment of the day/night is gone and I’m back to my bad day.Then I end up not masturbating for a long time,I might even skip a day. How did I end up typing this stuff out? Forgot to mention the devil sometimes possesses me when I’m blogging or taking a shit. That’s it for the day,til next time………..